Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
