I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Damn victory sex feels great
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
