My sheets look like a crime scene.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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