you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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