She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
