plz talk dirty to me
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
