I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
