Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
How external is "for external use only"?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Enjoy the penises
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
