To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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