Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
