I puked a lego.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I need moral support for this bender
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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