He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
They have beer where we have blood.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize