Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
