Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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