Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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