Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
