Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize