You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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