if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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