When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize