Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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