Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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