The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
