it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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