I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize