If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
