you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize