It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize