i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I love you. Go after that dick
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