Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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