well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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