The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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