Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Having a random hookup so left but love u
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
