My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
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Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
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Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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