I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Someone signed my nipple.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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