idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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