Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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