dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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