That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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