I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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