She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Randomize
