am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
