fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
As shirtless as possible
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
