you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
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I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
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He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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