Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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