the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
