WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
