We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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