He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
