so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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