mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
