i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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