I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
