I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
His nipple licking is glorious
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