Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
