shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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