Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
